Sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door...

It's been a while since I've been here.

A lot of reasons why...been busy, family's around, not been inspired & truthfully just been lazy. But today I was listening to the song Human by The Killers and the line - 'sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door' - struck a chord within.

I hate change, I always have. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I start anything new - school, work, friendship, relationship etc. I may not like where I am at but for me it's better the devil you know. I hate stress, I like being comfortable and if I'm nervous I'm far from comfortable.

I am also sadly a control freak. I like things just so and if they aren't just so, it feels like my world is off kilter and I hate that. As you can imagine when it's something new it's not just so, it takes a while for you to get your bearings and figure things out. I don't like that, I like being comfortable all the damn time!!!

So how do you live in a world that's in a constant state of change. According to The Killers you 'close your eyes, clear your heart, cut the cord'...me, I prefer thinking worst case scenario and then doing what needs to be done. If worst case scenario doesn't occur, then it's all good and at some point I find my bearings and institute control over my new state of affairs.