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I got some news about a health setback yesterday. And that led me to thinking about how we deal with upsetting news. Is there a set procedure for how one is meant to deal with it? I ask because I have realised in the last day that I'm not sure how to deal with it, I'm actually not sure if I have ever known how to deal with it. A part of me would like to wallow but then there's the practical side of me that knows it's just a setback, not life threatening, not the end of the world so why the heck am I wallowing, after all "there are people going through worse in the world". I like to call that latter side of me the 'Big V' effect, he of the "don't you think you have taken enough painkillers" mind over matter statements when I'm slapbang in the middle of a crisis....I'm sure every sickler would agree with me, there is no such thing as enough painkillers when you're having a crisis, in fact we tend to become our own pharmacists as experience has taught us what to take, when, how often and what to mix with what...please don't try this at home, it takes at least 20 years of pain to become this skilled :)
But I digress, dealing with upsetting news is the topic at hand. So I informed 2 people yesterday about the upcoming surgery, Mama and bffl. And it was interesting to see how they dealt with it. Mama of course engaged her direct lines, one to God to 'handle the situation', the other to Cuz S to 'handle me'. Unfortunately I was at a Christmas Carol Service in the eve (St Martin in the Fields, go next year if you can...so good) so I missed the call that would have 'handled me'. I await it as I'm curious to see how she does it, I predict the practical approach. But she did pass the news on to KK who sent a text (cheapo) telling me to not worry, God is in control etc etc etc, you know those kind of messages. Now bffl on the other hand wanted to know 'how I was doing', gotta love my bestie, I feel like she hated asking the question but felt she had to as my bestie and the keeper of the knowledge of my emotions. Trust me if Cuz S doesn't handle me to Mama's satisfaction, her 3rd call will be to bffl so the poor girl is just getting herself ready.
So how am I doing? I haven't the foggiest idea, I know I'm upset at the frustrating nature of the setback and the uncertainty of the ailment and the inability of the medical professionals to give any guarantees, I have been here before...twice...and according to them they can't guarantee I won't be back here again. That.is.annoying!!!! And the fact that surgery for me as a sickler is a whole tedious process of exchange transfusions which I absolutely positively detest.
But like I said, in the greater scheme of life it's not the end of the world. So if I have to pick one, I'll go with I'm doing good for now, it is after all the Christmas season.
