...

For many reasons I wasn't going to do this, to write about this. For one I didn't think I'd be articulate, or that the post would convey any meaningful point. But as the day progresses and my mind continues to whirl I fig...who gives a damn about being articulate or conveying messages. My writing is about working through my thought processes and sorting out my emotions.

I knew people on the flight but I didn't know people on the flight. I mean there was a guy I went on a couple of dates with yonks ago, an ex-secondary school mate, an ex-primary school mate, friends of friends but no one I'd spoken to in the last 2/3 years...so why the mind whirl?

The sadness of the whole damn situation. The lives lost. 153 on the plane, no word on those on the ground.

So damn sad. I can't even begin to imagine what they went through in their final moments or what their families and friends are going through now. I can only pray for God's mercy on their souls and His grace, mercy and comfort for those left behind.

But as I pray, my mind registers that I am also disappointed. No, not at God but at myself, my people, my government, my country.

It didn't need to happen, it shouldn't have happened. It wasn't an accident, at best it was negligence...no scratch that wilful negligence was what it was. And the absolute killer is the fact that there is nothing stopping it happening tomorrow, next week, month or year.

We'll rage, we'll cry, we'll mourn...then typical for my people...except the family of those affected...we'll forget. Till the next one happens, and trust me, until things change, attitudes change, and people begin to give a damn about other people and the consequences of their actions, to stop being consumed by the almighty dollar...it will happen again...and again...and again. I mean it's happened how many times now?

And so my mind whirls with sadness and disappointment, and fear. Fear because the next time, it may be me or one of my brothers, or my dad, or bffl...after all we've all made that journey, we've all travelled that route...heck some of us have used that airline on that route. It could have been any of us yesterday. That's my fear.

So sadness, disappointment and fear, and helplessness. Helplessness because as much as I recognise that something has to change, something has to give, I don't know what or how that change will be effected. I don't have any answers, I can't make any suggestions...I just don't know. And I am even more disappointed in myself for that.