Ire kaluku o lowo Eleda lo wa, Oluwa ko ma gbagbe mi...

Fear is a funny thing isn't it.

I remember being afraid of so many things as a kid and desperately waiting to grow up because in my child mind, grown ups weren't scared of anything.

And now I'm all grown, I'll give anything for the fears I have now to be my childhood fears.

I'm not scared of the world ending on a specific date arbitraly chosen by some religious nut like I used to be as a child. I'm not scared of thunderstorms. I'm not scared of being alone in the house. I don't jump at creaks in floor boards or slammed doors. And whilst I am concerned about world troubles, I don't stay awake worrying that world war 3 is about to happen right this minute.

Grown up fears are realer than all that, these aren't the fictional monsters hiding in the dark, under the bed, or in the closet. These are real monsters that whisper that they will overcome no matter how much you pray, plan, work hard for (or against depending on the situation).

It's the temptation that draws you in again and again, the world that moves faster than you, the hamster wheel you can't seem to get off, the uncertainties, the blank mind, the blank future, the losses. The threat you'll be overwhelmed, be consumed, be destroyed or at the very least, be left desolate and empty.

Grown up fears don't disappear in daylight or sunny days, we have to handle them..how do I handle mine? The only way I know...trust, faith...one breath at a time.


Title is a line from Ebenezer Obey's 'Ori Mi Koni Buru'. Loosley translated from Yoruba the line simply states a prayer asking God not to forget the person saying it and that everyones blessings (good fortunes maybe?) are in the hands of God, and in that vain I repeat...

Oluwa ko ma gbagbe mi.

Xx